WeLCoM3 2 PsYcHo WoRLd…..

shuld u juz give up??? or shuld u juz continue??? come all d way here… n found ‘d 1′ who impressed u… n then wat??? try gettin close with ‘d 1′… love ‘d 1′ more day after day… n get more intimate…. gettin closer n closer.. sittin together… n then……. POP! "i’m already with some1" n continue.., "but i love u, very different feelings…" wat a THUNDER SHOCK. n wat next? u r trapped in the ‘love net’. trapped deeper n deeper.. n dun mind being beside ‘d 1′ even tho ‘d 1′ has ’some1′… so, is tht right?? ethical??? (i noe.. so… social sc n biz dy.. hahha) n yet.. u stil continue being there.. right beside ‘d 1′.. n actin very intimately with ‘d 1′… looking passionately at ‘d 1′… hopin tht u hv d chance… d chance 2 take over ’some1′’s place.. even tho u conquer ‘d 1′’s heart… u r not her ’some1′ yet… so.. u start gettin tired… tired of being ‘no one’….so how now?? give up?? can?? u said can.. bt r u sure?? mayb.. mayb not… bt… truly hope tht u can overcome tis… GIVE UP.. n CONTINUE with ur life.. for no point struggling there.. no point.. really no point… ‘d 1′ will stick to ’some1′ n not u.. u realise d fact.. so.. GIVE UP.. d one n only way left is… GIVE UP… pull urself out of d ‘net’.. if u don’t, u’ll get hurt more in the future… give up. juz give up.

sud hv such thought… is there such mighty virus or spreadable genes on earth??? ok. i x tink u can get my meanin here… juz some examples here. a friend of mine took a lrt yest n 2day.. n it SO happened tht when he used his hp, everybody else also took out their hp… somehow.. i feel there’s such ‘virus’ or whatever it is.. tht can make a particular action transmitted to another and to the other and it continues.. juz another example here… i’m sure u experience tis b4.. ur friend yawned, then another friend of urs yawned.. then..???? U yawned!! it’s like contagious!! weird?? coincidence or there’s ’sth’ there…. right between u n ur friends.. right between u n me.. in the air…???

so… i’m really wondering…. is there ’sth’ in the air?? wat is d ’sth’? does d ’sth’ exist????? is some of d actions r contagious or it’s juz merely a coincidence??????

tis’ll juz go on disturbin me till i get d ans.. kaka… =P

interesting statement frm KY 2day.. "a couple 1st 3 months will hv d LOVe feelings.. 3 months later, d next 3 months, d feelings become LIKE, n next…….???", he says, "it’ll be HABIT." haha.. n he said tht 1 marriage can stay tht long is bcoz of d habits n kids.. jj said tht 2…. haha…

seems tht…. they hv their pt.. haha.. i totally hv NO comments.. juz feel so……. sth wrong.. HABIT??? hmm.. mayb…. mayb……… i’m not sure..

haha.. send tis post.. juz wanna put ky n jj’s thoughts.. for fun.. juz for fun.. hehe =P kk…

*really hv fun with u all la, jj, ky, shir, aj, rob, nabil, farah, fadya…. hahaha. take k*

oh ya.. last friday.. sth VERY INTERSTING happened!! haha…

guess wat?? when i’m chattin in comp lab.. (ILLEGALLY.. hehe) my comp all of a sudden changed its LANGUAGE.. frm english 2 JAWI..!!!!!! JAWI… ya.. JAWI.. GENG. guess wat i did next?? i sent jawis 2 all my on9 friends.. all.. tinkin i’m a psycho or is learning jawi.. wahaha. =P

i even can’t type d URL in ENGLISH!! EVERYTHIN is in JAWI!!! PSYCHO!!>> finally how i chat with my friends?? haha.. very ‘clever’.. i went 2 microsoft words.. type my sentences, cut it n paste it in d chat box!! so PSYCHO! wahaha.. i keep type jawi 2 my friend until theyu r fed up.. hehe…. then i hv 2 use microsoft word.. then i ask 4 help frm my comp geek coursemates.. wahaha.. all can’t solve d prob.. n all ask me 2 CHANGE 2 another comp.. walao.. i’m a LAZY BUM ler. ask me 2 do sooo many procedures!! wahaha.. finally, they ask me 2 restart.. haha.. n….. wa.. in english again…. haha.. no JAWI anymore.. juz soo fun. YY n i r havin fun bcoz of tht JAWI!!! hahaha.. wat a great experience with JAWI.. haha…..

mayb.. i shuld go learn jawi… one day.. hehe =P

hehe.. YY i knew her in UNIM. my coursemate.

hmm.. let me do some comparisons here.. haha..

SIMILARITIES:

  1. studyin in d same uni
  2. studyin in foundation in biz n management
  3. stayin in d same hall - Redang Hall
  4. GOIN 2 study d same undergraduate programme - finance, accounting n management
  5. a girl
  6. BUT.. both r BOYS
  7. both parents r tchers
  8. stayin alone in apartment NOW
  9. both havin allergics
10. both r PSYCHOS

11. both havin SHORT term memory… hahaha

DIFFERENCES:

1. she’s frm JB n i’m frm S’ban
2. both her parents retired, mine stil working
3. she’s havin 3 bros, me only child
4. she’s more independent than me, FOR SURE
5. different kind of allergics
6. she wakes up early, unlike me who’s a PIG.. waha

hmm.. y all of a sudden do d comparisons ler??? haha.. coz she’s my dearest WIFE!! so.. juz wanna show tht v hv MORE similarities than differences… haha.. YY, so fun 2 go mid valley with u.. =P holdin hands wor.. our 1st DATIN ler.. haha.. summor WEIRD datin ler.. RUNNIN in mid valley n  mid valley ktm station juz 2 catch d ktm… but TOO LATE 4 d planned 1.. haha. n then runnin in kajang ktm station 2 catch UNI BUS..  wow.. tht’s d LAST uni bus 4 d DAY ler.. if can’t catch, then hv 2 spend RM 20 on cab loo.. haha.. luckily tht d bus was late.. haha.. phew..

really very fun tht day.. i REALLY very enjoy tht day’s OUTING.. N.. s well s d NITE outing.. woo hoo.. =P stay up in comp lab till 3 sth AM.. noe u muz b sooooo tired s u usually sleep at 11 sth.. wahaha….

really hv sooo much fun tht day.. n experience ur PSYCHO part n funny part.. haha.. really looking 4ward 2 our 2nd DATING… hehehe =P

cheers, yy.. =P take k. =P dun miss home so much.. MISS ME. i’m 1 of ur family members too.. wahaha.. kakakaka.. =P

haha….

last friday, I went to MID VALLEY with YY by uni’s bus then ktm frm kajang!!

n…. 2day is d 1st time i went 2 ALAMANDA!! hoohoo.. yippy..

well.. no details here… y?? haha.. ask my coursemates.. they ask me 2 juz write so.. they say tonnes of ppl will comment n say they r SHOCKED!!! haha.. they actually x believe tht i went 2 Mid valley.. s they said, "v’ll believe if u went 2 national library"…. -_-lll haha…

father’s day.. mother’s day..

hmm.. all d children out there muz b start buying gifts 4 dad now… s father’s day is in 1 week time.. hmm… gifts.. when small.. i suppose all’ll tink of drawing cards.. s growing older, all start buying cards, treating dinners, buying gifts…..

here’s my thought.. hmm.. teenagers nowadays usually celebrate father’s day by treating lunches or dinners or buying gifts.. hmm.. my ques.. where does d money come frm? PARENTS. unless they’ve started workin.. so wat’s d point buyin gifts 4 dad usin dad’s money?? or buy gifts 4 mum usin mum’s money? s i grew older now.. tis idea juz pop up in my mind.. no offence.. bt.. it’s true tht whatever u do celebrating d special days.. u R using ur PARENTS’ money!! NOT URS!! unless u start working.. so y u wanna use their money 2 please them? won’t it seem weird?

therefore.. i started not buying gifts durin these special days.. s my point is.. i’m usin my PARENT’S money!! so wat i do tht day is.. i’ll b right there 4 them on tht day… celebrate d day by making sure tht i’m beside them.. even i hv exams in uni, i’ll get home juz 2 let my parents c me.. s LOVE is more important.. NOT materials.. tis is my special way celebrating mother’s day n father’s day.. JUZ 2 BE there n show how much i LOVE them..

*love u, daddy, mummy…*

wow.. experienced home alone.. durin last weekends n till yest. parents went 2 perlis.. leaving me alone here at home. however, it was a fun experience.. surprisingly, i did not feel scare BEING ALONE at home. stayin overnights!!Luckily.. NO theives os robbers.. if not, tis’ll b Home Alone 6 or 7… hahhaa…..

sleepin late at nights s i used 2.. waking up late. .preparing my own food.. water d plants.. everythin. all on my own.. my dad even gave me d permission 2 drive my mum’s car ALONE 2 d shops nearby!! (bt.. i’m a good girl.. never use d car.. haha)… 2days ago, back frm campus, i eventually HAND WASHED all my clothes durin d WHOLE WEEK!!!! oh my.. washed for TWO HOURS!!!!! wow!! soooo suffering.. hah. summor with my sensitive hands, wearin gloves is juz NOT enuf.. havin painful fingers after tht.. n .. after d 2 HOURS of WASHIN WAR, i ralise d light in d kitchen is FUSED!!! soooo smeely.. IMMEDIATELY off d switch. sooo dangerous.. believe it or not.. d smeel until yest afternoon itstil there!! stil can smell bau hangit.. terrible!!!

Luckily, no fire or whatever.. haha, oh ya.. abt washin d clothes.. i washed frm 9pm till 11 sth pm.. n i go OUTSIDE of my house n hang d clothes at around 11.30OPM!! wat a GREAT experience.. kinda scary. when u c motorists.. 2 indians.. (no racist here) juz scary 2 c motors on d road at such LATE hours… luckily, they r GOOD ppl.. haha.

life durin home alone is juz s d same s d NORmal life.. not much difference.. haha.. except 4 d cookin part n washin part.. haha…. how glad i m tht my parents r now back home dy.. =P sooo happy 2 c them… I love u, daddy n mummy!!!! really miss u all sooo much…..

yest.. went n check my jpa scholarship rayuan results.. it came out on 9th June… with a REALLY CALM feeling, i surf d NEt. n went 2 d website. n typed in my IC.. n…. tht it goes.. d results…… readin frm words to words.. lines to lines… tryin 2 SEARCH 4 d results.. finally.. in 2nd paragraph.. i was told tht….. TIDAK BERJAYA!!! wat a GREAT ans i got! at tht moment. .i juz didn’t feel anythin.. numb..

however.. after tht, all my feelings came back… n.. all of a sudden, i got soooo despair.. I AM a STARIGHT A1’s STUDENT! all my coursemates KEEP tellin ME tht I’LL GET d scholarship. i DESERVE it. if i dun get, they say.. ( IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN!) n .. when d results show tht i didn;t get, all of them r in totally shock. after rayuan, here it comes d result.. TIDAK BERJAYA again!!

Guess wat? my mind pop up tis.. IF so, Y d GOVERNMENT 1 2 GIVE STRAIGHT A1’s?? d results is juz USELESS!! Wat can i do with it?? 2 let ppl tink tht i’m CLEVER? it’s totally NO USE.. for instance, in UNIM i’m studyin, scholarships.. whoever get 9A’s n above can get tht dy.. so, y dun d government juz give me 9A’s?? Y? IF i gain staright A1’s.. SUPPOSEDLY i was regarded s 1 of d good results student. so, Y AM I NOT GIVEN D CHANCE 2 PURSUE my studies with GOVERNMENT’s HELP?? usually.. v HEARD tht.. GOVERNMENT’ll GIVE OPPORTUNITIES 2 good results students 2 pursue their studies Oversea.. SO.. Y AM I NOT GIVEN D CHANCE??????????????????????? AM I  NOT COUNTED S GOOD RESULTS STUDENT? If so, DUN give me such an EXCELLENT results!! Y give me d HOPE when i’m NOT given d chance? Y let SOOOOOOOOOOO many ppl get disappointed?? Y?? juz give EXCELLENT results 2 THOSE WHO R QUALIFIED!! DUN GIve it 2 me n finally tell me tht  i TIDAK BERJAYA gettin a scholarship!!

I’m NOT a ROBOT! I’ve FEELINGS too!! no wonder v learnt d DRAWBACKS OF STATE PROVISION OF HIGHER EDUCATION in SOCIAL SC!see?? i’m NOW studyin in UNIM!!! i thought with my results, i can reduce my parents’ burden.. bt wat now?? i’m studyin i nd same uni, PAYIN d same fees s d 1s who get 6 CREDITS in SPM!! IS tht fair??? IS THT?? Y give me d FALSE HOPE?? Y??

there’s no more hope here. no more hope in d government.  I’ve NEVER been a bad citizen.. at least i can say.. i AM a GOOD citizen.. bt Y can’t i get WAT i SHULD GET? so, y DON’T i JUZ b A BAD CITIZEN?? i dun care wat ohters’ll say.. but.. wat’s wrong being a bad one now, rite?

I’ve 2 goin on with my life.. WITH or WITHOUT government’s help. so wat shuld i say? again tht lines… welcome back 2 reality.. painful n awful reality.

COMMENTS:

P/s 1: even i cried terribly, full of tears writing tis blog.. who’ll CARE abt me? WILL GOVERNEMENT   give me wat i wish 4? NO. so, i’m JUZ all alone here, all alone on tis earth. i came 2 tis earth ALONE, stay on tis EARTH alone n WILL leave tis EARTH ALONE. no one cares whther u r in despair. EVERYONE juz goes on with their own life.. who’d pay attention 2 u… WHO?? for sure.. NOT D GOVERNMENT.

P/s 2: even tho government has made me in despair, i WON’T turn on my back on government. TIS is stil MY BELOVED MALAYSIA. I"ll remain being a GOOD citizen eventho i might b in a sad mode..

P/s 3: I didn’t get scholarship bcoz government is giving d opportunities 2 d needed, 2 d poor, 2 d 1s who r really much more qualified than me.both my parents r working, i’m d only child… i shuld give my chance 2 d ones needed…

LOVE MAlaysia.. Hv FAith in MAlaysiA… B a GOOD citizen.. DUn get despaired….

However.. rite now.. i’m juz feelin *40 kinds of sadness*…………..

‘Love’. A 4-letter-word. bt bring soo much meaning 2 one. it can b a happy, sweet 1. can b a sad, torturing 1. can b a suffering 1…

suddenly.. hv no trust in love.. saw a friend of mine.. being tortured.. s she says, "LOVE IS A BIG LIAR!!! Broken trust.. Broken love… a lesson of life.. good bye my fren"…… ya.. how HUGE d impact LOVE can brin 2 one… so, y HUMANS stil NEED LOVE?? Y?? s shown in Maslow’s hierarchy, humans hv love n belonging needs.. so, does tht mean tht without LOVE, human is SOOO UNPERFECT??

of course.. v always say tht there r MANY kinds of love.. family, friendship, lovers, god…. all sorts of love.. but finally.. all’ll come 2 a conclusion tht LOVe between a couple is d SWEETEST n D BITTEST! Y?? Y muz love b soo suffering?? y can’t all d love juz b a plain sweet one? Y love is oso another lesson of life? s it’s a NEED 4 humans, it SHULD b a comfort one.. n NOT a SUFFERING one..
seen friends tryin 2 commit suicide bcoz of ‘loveless’ life. he feels he’s ALL aALONE in tis world. n i saw friend tryin 2commit suicide bcoz get separated frm her ‘bf’ (a girl). n.. oso seen friend tryin2 commit suicide bcoz of family… Y?????????? Y???? Y?? Y LOVE can b a suffering one??

Where do all d TRUSTS, d PROMISES, d HOPES gone?? r they juz some dreams.. dreams tht’ll b 4gotten after one wake up on d very next morning?? i gave n is giving n WILL give 120% trusts in my family, friends, strangers, any1, n my future lover(whoever he’ll b).. bt. when u saw friends around u.. when u look back 2 d past.. u’ll realise.. mayb.. i shuld not do so..

Y ‘LOVe’ is brought out in issue since humans is on earth?? is tht a neccesity or juz merely a feeling  tht humans hv paid too much attention on all these while??

Now i hope.. my only hope.. tht… my friend.. ‘ll get healed s soon s possible.. d pain of LOVE is juz too great tht i do not 1 her 2 suffer an extra second.. i do not want her 2 suffer.. i want 2 c everybody’s HAPPY FACES.. HOpe love’ll alwiz b a simple SWEET 1…… no more suffer.. no more bitterness……..